having a rough day. LOL!
My handsome boys!!

Trying to fool him into thinking i'm holding him. LOL! Worked for a little bit

Chad knew I wanted to go to wichita really bad. This was the only weekend for over a month that we would be able to make it. I really wanted to show my family Jude as a newborn. : ) So with the blizzard warning Chad decided to ask off on Friday and bring me up here thursday evening. So we made it no problem. We have had a good time. Just lounging and visiting, can't beat that. : ) Heard Guymon got about 9 inches of snow!! Kind of sad that I missed out on an exciting thing in guymon. LOL!! I have really enjoyed being here. We were going to leave today (saturday) but the highway was closed. So we are going to leave out in the morning. Works out because my aunt and uncle will be by soon. We are all doing well. Oh chad pinched a nerve in his neck, so he is stiff! bummer!

Lane and Jude

Cade and Jude

The boys playing cards with mamaw the great!

Jude and Mamaw the great!

My cousin Ashley and Jude

Chad told me to take this picture. I'm glad i did.

My computer nerds!

It is hard to keep up with this thing. : )

I'm feeling so much better. My clogged duct is now unclogged!! WAHOOO!! I don't want that to happen again!! Seriously don't women go through enough pain!!!

Things are going pretty good. I still need to spend more time with cade and lane during the day. it is just hard. They are doing pretty good. Lane has been doing better on being more independent again. Cade has been fussy lately. night time is not fun. chad will help get them bathed and in pjs but then he leaves to go workout. i'm left with a baby that wants to eat, boys that want to play, read books, eat... last night they were not listening to me so i took away the ninendo for today. i thought they would be better tonight. NOPE!! but it is some of my fault too. tonight i was finishing up a clients pictures that i took almost two weeks ago. i did finish but was stressed out. i was holding a sleeping jude (cause he doesn't sleep during the day unless he is being held and if you lay him down he cries (unless it is his "happy time")). The boys were running around the garage with all my lighting up!! Stressful!! We read books and then they were doing everything they could not to go to bed. i blew up and i think they know i mean business!! they haven't been taking me serious since i had jude. i'm back and i mean business!!! so i need to do better with spending time with them and keep on them until i have my awesome awesome boys back. : ) It has been tough with chad going all the time. every weeknight he leaves to go lift (which is great for him to be able to do that, and i wish i could). It is just hard because supper needs to be fixed before a certain time so he can eat before working out and not get sick. so it is hectic between 4:30-9! my turn will come where i can leave and go workout. i can't wait!! chad is looking really good!! i will have to try and get a picture of him. i'm sure he will let me, he knows what he looks like. :) actually all the guys who are doing it that i have seen are looking really good! i'm proud of them. now i just need to get in shape so chad who looks awesome doesn't have a fat wife. : )

jude...i love him, i love all my boys. he was eating every 3 hours for a few days and now he is back to every other hour. oh well, baby boy needs to eat. this is what i'm willing to do to be able to nurse him. it is all worth it even though it can be frustrating. he is filling out and that makes me proud. : ) it makes misisng out on all the things i would like to do. i have been trying to make my life as normal as possible. Going out and finding a place to feed him. yesterday we went to walmart and i had to feed him before we went in. it was funny because heidi pulled up and looked puzzled. (i was in the back and big boys up front. she came over to see what was going on. LOL! i figured several people prob. thought i just left them in the car. I would never do that!! i can still do the same things i did just need to make sure i can feed him. Now i haven't done girls night out yet or any of my other functions. i'm going to start bunco and sorority back up. which will be good for me. jude has been able to focus so much better, he smiles and still does his grunting. he is getting so big and i can't believe how fast it is going. my sister in law just put in her blog how she couldn't believe how fast it is going with bailey. i haven't gotten all the newborn pics that i wanted. : (

we are planning to go to wichita this weekend but there is suppose to be a stupid snowstorm!! i really want to go and this is the only weekend for awhile that i can go!! it makes me so mad and sad. i want them to see jude before he gets too big!! : (

oh, so i went to my 6 week check up. i had been going over the story over and over in my head on how i was going to tell my doctor. guess what - he wasnt even there!!! i just wanted to laugh!! i saw the nurse practiner - who i had seen for most of my pregnancy. I told her the story. she couldn't believe it. she said to call up to the hospital and do a follow up.

well i can't think of anything else right now. better go get ready for bed!!

friday i started feeling worse. i cleaned up a little bit and then everything went pretty bad. i got really cold, horrible headache and weak.

jude slept really good friday into saturday morning. i actually got 2 hrs to sleep in between!!

saturday...felt a better, except for the horrible headache. i took a nap and slept for an hour (didn't seem like that long - which isn't long when you are breastfeeding!) when i woke up my headache was so much better. we went for a walk at the lake. i was feeling weird like i took drowsy medicine. but i haven't been eating very well lately. we ran into the furnish's at visited for a little while. chad dropped me and the boys off at home (so i could feed jude) and he went and got braums for lunch. it didn't taste very good to me. i think my taste buds were off because the ketchup was gross too. not anything exciting happening here. oh i took some pictures of jude and wanted to do some of all three but the little man got fussy, and was fussy for awhile. daddy finally got him to calm down.

sunday.. chad went antler hunting again today. he left this morning around 9 and won't be back until late. he was going to take cade but that is too much for him. so yes i have all three boys. needless to say it is 4 and i'm just eating lunch. we are still in pjs and i really need a shower!!!

tomorrow i have my 6 wk checkup. i'm nervous to talk to the doc about the whole birthing experience. wish i could have talked to him earlier about it!! better finish eating. i'm starving!!!

yesterday heidi and all the little boys loaded up and went to amarillo to jump n jive. i thought it would be a good idea since it was spring breaks. A couple of friends and their kids showed up. We had a really good time. The boys were all really great in the car. they were so excited that lane and bryson would not be quite. so we played 123 hush puppies and the winner got a cookie. GREAT GAME!!! jude slept the whole way there. everyone was hungry when we got there. they ate and then found their friends. we left about 5:30 and i dropped heidi off at once upon a child. then drove around the lot. we grabbed food and headed back. the boys were good on the way home - they slept! when i got home i carried everyone in - chad pulled a muscle!!! it was a great day except for the clogged milk duct that developed! OUCH!!!!

islept on and off untill 12. i was and everyone else was starving. i'm stiil tired, feel weak and cold and am in a little pain!! i'm going to get off brush my teeth and lay down!!!

St. Pattys day - all greened out

So yesterday i was exhausted!! i was feeling weird too. I was light headed, really tired! The last few days i have been SSSSOOOO hungry!! I had just told heidi that i didn't have the hungry problem and then boom it hits!! i'm going to stop telling her stuff because when i say everything is good and i have had a certain problem it happens!! LOL!! I'm trying to think of good snacks and good meals to eat. i have too or i'm going to gain instead of lose weight.

Last night or I guess early this morning jude was crying his hurting cry. poor baby with gas. guess i'm not going to eat bbq for awhile. : ( chad got up with him and helped me from 5 to when we got him settled down. Needless to say the one night chad didn't get good sleep, he slept in. LOL!! i think it is funny. i slept too!

Today, i fed jude, cleaned house, fixed meals, got on to boys, made cookies with boys. the big boys played good today but man when it came to picking up!! It is 7:30 and jude is a little fussy, doing his hurt cry again so i gave him some gas drops. so far he is doing good. he has had some good awake happy time today. i need to video tape him - so much fun!! oh today i had a friend stop by that i haven't seen in like 8 years!!! she didn't stay long but said she would come by on friday. the boys are getting ready for bed - hopefully they will be down by 8!! They are pretty fussy!! oh one more thing our tv is going down hill. you can't watch a dvd because the hook up is all messed up! : ( that stinks!!! i'm going now!!

the boys "playing" with Jude. They covered him with stuffed animals - not his face though. : )

Jude smiling on his blanket from the seabaughs

3 musketeers

Jude in his first tie. : ) I took this on Sunday.

The cowboy yo yos are coming back to life!! I KNOW!! Calley called me up one day and said she wanted to give cowboy yoyo another try. She didn't realized how much work we put into it until Sunday. The sassins came over to talk business. I think she was pretty amazed on how much we thought about and did. She is in charge of marketing. : ) I'm glad it is getting another try and glad there is someone who is really excited about it. : )

My girls (Calley, Keidi, Diana, Heidi) did another special thing for me!! They brought a basket full of stress relief massage oil, lotion, scrub and a mist for my pillow!! Let me tell you that stuff will be gone pretty fast. : ) Thank you girls!! You do know you are spoiling me and that means ever month someone has to bring me a meal. : ) You girls are the best!!

On Saturday I needed out. So we grabbed taco bell and went driving. Chad took me a too a new spot to hike. It was fun to be all together.

Oh yesterday I recieived a package (when I say I, I mean Jude) from a friend of mine in arkansas (becky). We were leaving to go to the park but I had to open it before we went. She is really creative so i was excited to see what was inside! She made him this awesome, beautiful turtle quilt!! It is her own everything!! Becky - thank you!! I love it!! She also knitted a little sign with a turtle on it and put it in a frame. I know exactly where I'm going to put it, just need to do it!! I had to give her a call as soon as I got to the park. It has been so long since I had talked to her. I MISS HER!! I especially need her to kick my butt with working out so I can look as good as I did in arkansas!!!

Jude is still a good little baby. He has been cranky the last few days. I think it is due to gas. : ( I don't know what I'm eating to cause it. He is still eating all the time!!

Lane is still cranky. He says he can't do anything and throws himself on the ground. Which doesn't get him a positive reaction from him. We are slowly getting there and I need to make sure and give him more attention. I need to do that with cade too.

Cade is doing well. We had teacher conference this morning. Cade is doing awesome!! He report card is great and his teacher said he is ready for kindergarten! : ( : ) Really kindergarten?! I can't believe it. She also said if she could clone any kid it would be cade. : ) He is such a great kid! He has been saving his money from doing chores and got to buy his skateboard. He has been wanting it for sooooo long. I was worried that he wouldn't stick with it and learn how do it. he got it on sunday and he has been riding it a lot. and he is getting really good!! He told me yesterday that he wanted another baby!! GEEZE!! : ) Glad he loves jude though. there was soccer sign ups this past week. We thought about putting cade in it but decided not too. We don't want him to start to early in sports but not too late either. He can start next year. I think that will be good for him. I have thought about signing him up for karate at the ymca. the time is weird though. we will see.

I better get off here. I know I rambled but that is what i do. I'm sure i forgot to mention something in here. : )

Jude 1 month

My Boys

finally!!

First of all i found out some excellent news today!! a friend of mines ex husband was finally convicted and sentenced for molesting their 18 mth girl!! it has been a year now and it finally happend. Those babies are safe from him!! And when he does get out they will be old enough to protect themselves and decide on the relationship they want with him. I'm so relieved and excited!

Another final is jude finally lost his umbilical cord on wednesday morning! i know he is a month old!! he finally decided to let it go. His belly button is really deep and i know that played apart in it because i was doing a good job with the alcohol swabbing. Last night the boys got to take a bath with jude. Judes first real bath. : )

Jude is staying a wake longer during the day. He is smiling and is such a joy. Oh he snorts and likes to grunt when he gets mad. : ) he still eats ALL THE TIME!!

Heidi was great today. She took lane to mdo for me, picked cade up and took him to mdo, cleaned my stovetop, did high lights for me, got lunch, picked up boys and brought them home after mdo!!! she is awesome!! : ) love you girl.

last night keidi and heidi fixed us supper. we had hamburger stew, cornbread and the best banana pudding ever!! it was all good and everyone ate it. there was just a little stew left. thanks girls!!!

This morning i took cade to school and left lane and jude at home. i was debating on leaving jude because it was close to feeding time, and i knew chad would have a hard time with calming him and working. i was talking to the boys about it and lane said "mom, i will watch him". how cute! i did leave him here in the swing. when i got home jude was happy with a pacifier in his swing and lane was sitting close by him. : ) he said jude started crying so he gave him his pacifier. don't worry he is really gentle with him. before we had left cade was giving lane instruction on how to care for jude. : ) they love him so much. this baby is blessed with two wonderful big brothers. : ) and lane gives him at least 50 kisses a day!!!

rick called tonight and wanted the boys for a little bit so chad took them over. jude and i are the only ones home. it is nice to have time with no one else but i haven't got to really talk to him since he got back from arkansas and i think i fell asleep when we were talking. : ( i miss him. it is antler season so he has been gone a lot. plus with him working out. : (

i better go jump in the bathtub while jude is happy. i need to get some sleep so i need to be ready when he goes down!! : )

cade and jude relaxing

we are doing pretty good. i have gotten the boys to school this week (only the second day - lol), i have been a little late dropping cade off. lane is getting pretty hard to deal with in the morning. Well he is getting pretty hard to deal with anytime of the day. we will all get the hang of it.

needing to vent- yesterday a lady at walmart told me that jude was spoiled. she was serious about it and looked away when she said it! the reason is, is because i carried him until he fell asleep and then put him in his seat. First of all he is 4 weeks old, second of all - if i want to enjoy him and spoil him right now that is my decision!! This could be my last baby so i'm going to enjoy him!! I got to enjoy cade and lane i didn't get too so much because i was worried about the spoiled factor. And i missed out big time with him!! so i'm not going to do the same thing!!

jude won't sleep in his crib or anywhere for very long!! anytime i put him down it doesn't take long for him to wake up and cry for me. i do let him cry a little but he is still learning things and i want him to know i'm right here. when he gets older i will be harder on him but until then i guess i'm going to deal with it. at night i will put him in his crib (the last few nights) and he wakes up when i put him down, i pat him until he is asleep and he wakes up not long after i leave the room. chad did put him in his crib around 7 and he did stay asleep until 11 p.m.!! but he was super tired from being up so long yesterday during the day. I did that on purpose. today he has been snoozing but didn't get very good sleep early this morning due to gas. oh on the upside he is starting to make little noises!! cute cute cute!!

i forgot to mention that the first week jude was here cade learned his phone number at school. we have been practicing and lane knows it now. : ) i will tell lane to say it and he says "my phone number is ... .... it is so cute!! Cade also knows our address, town and state. they are growing up too fast!! another reason why i'm just enjoying!!

the boys and i went and dropped off some stuff to the girls today. just a little something to say thank you for everything they have and keep doing for us. the boys love dropping things off. i let them take it to the door themselves and they have so much fun. it is fun to watch them too!!!

i better get off here and fix supper while jude is fed!!

First of all - wow the people i have in my life!! : ) i have felt so special having family coming up and not only visiting but helping out so much!! Then my friends! they are awesome!! Last night was girls night out and i didn't go, prob. won't go to different function for a little while (due to not getting much sleep at night and getting to be ASAP). Anyway Diana, heidi and keidi came to me. : ) Not only did they come to visit they brought ice cream!! I really enjoyed them! : ) Thank you to all my girls (including you too calley) for making me feel so darn special!!!

My sister and lily left today. Before they left we took pictures. : ) wasn't so bad but didn't get exactly what i wanted. I will take what we can with 4 kids under 5!! Thanks sally for coming and making meals, cleaning and helping with the boys.

After sally left chad and the big boys went to walmart. Chad has been wanting a smoker and finally broke down and got one. The boys walked in carrying tulips for me. Cade had pink ones and lane had purple ones. they are really pretty and looking springish! After chad put the smoker together he took out the trash, started and put away some laundry, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher! not only all that he has asked me several times if i needed anything!! Feeling like a princess and loving my boys!!

so last night i put pictures of jude up. tonight lane finally noticed them. he said "aaaawwww it is baby jude" and then he saw bailey and said "it is bailey". it was cute because he kept saying awwww. : ) between lane and lily jude has gotten tons of kisses!! Cade said that he wants another baby!!! he said "mom when you have another baby, a baby girl we can call her baby girl number 4". i told him I'm not sure if we will have another baby and he said "why?, i want another baby". So that answers the number one question "how do the boys like the new baby?"

well jude is alseep and it is 8:28. better go get ready for bed just in case he is doing his 5 hr sleep!!

Some pictures that sally has taken.

bathtime

lily and boys

i love this picture. LOL!

another long night. : ) i just have to say jude is worth it. : )

today was a nice day. i slept in a little and sally got cade ready for school and took him. I woke up and fed jude and then got ready to take lane and lily to mdo. we went and got bryson dropped them off. bryson stayed right by lily to make sure she was ok. it was cute. after that we went to the postoffice and walmart. i was late getting cade from school. oops!! i didn't mean too. we took cade to mdo.

we came home and i fed jude. heidi came over and we all went and ate at larissa's. it was a nice get away. jude was really good and we talked and talked and talked!! When we left it was time to go get the kiddos. When we showed up lily was so excited! she had a fun day. calley said that lane pushed lily for a long time in the swing and cade helped taylor. there was also some confrontation but overall i think they had a great day. we got home and i fed jude. We put in movie. The kids stayed calmed. While i fed jude i filled out envelopes for his baby announcement that i will be getting soon.

chad grilled pork chops for supper. it was good and i ate it an hour after it was done. i gave the kids a bath before supper while sally made the sides. After i got the kids out i took a shower. i got to read books to the kids tonight. it has been awhile. : (

i have been pretty good. not having very many breakdowns. i was telling heidi today that i have been doing good and not feeling overly tired. well guess what?! when we got home from getting the kids i got so tired - i feel exhausted today!! and i had a small yelling breakdown. oops! i know i have been doing good because i have had help. this is the last week someone will be here to help. i know - all my girls are saying we are right here. : ) i know you are! : ) and that is what makes me feel better.

oh lane was all kissy with jude today. and he told aunt sally that she couldn't take jude home with her. : )

i better get going. i'm tired, jude is asleep for a little bit - better not say that need to look at the chart to see when he last ate. : ) better get teeth brushed and lay down.

WAY BEHIND!!!

I haven't had anytime to really get on the computer. Imagine that!! : )

Mom and Gary came last week when chad went to arkansas for the year beginning meeting. I'm so glad they came!!! I'm not quite there to do it all myself. There visit was a really good one. Gary is so good with the boys! And man did they play!! They made me tired just watching. Mom was a desingated jude holder and made the meals. Which a huge help!

The mornings have been hard for me. Jude went about 3 days in a row sleeping for 5 hour time period (which i think it was all cades prayer for jude to sleep so momma could) and then wanting to eat 2 hours after that (which is one hour after feeding!) but that all went down hill! he went back to eating every two hours (which is again one hour between feedings). I was starting to really get to me at night. One night sally came and intervene so i could have a breakdown. that morning chad got the boys ready for school and took them. Sally held jude and i got to sleep. : ) So last night cade said a prayer that jude would do good during the night time for me. Guess what?! Yep he did good. It wasn't a 5 hour but 3 hours. I fed him and he woke up an hour later but it was because he needed to be burped and help out a little gas. i went to sleep with the clock saying 4 and rocking him to waking up with him snoozing and the clock saying 6 a.m.!! Needless to say breastfeeding is going great!!

Jude has been a handful during the day. He isn't a fussy baby, he just wants to feel loved. Doesn't want to be put down. Which makes it hard to get anything done. It does seem like this week he is doing so much better getting put down. he has a pretty good awake time and doesn't mind the bouncy seat. He smiles!! I'm not even kidding. He can't smile on demand but he does it. He loves his face stroked (sometimes i will try to untuck his bottom lip while he is eating and he smiles). Sometimes when you talk to him he smiles. Yes gas does make him smile but it isn't always gas. Last week he developed his first tear. : ( He also weighed 7 lbs 10 oz last week at his appt. today he weighed in at 8lbs 3oz!!! hehehehe!!

The boys are still doing very well with Jude. Cade has to give him a hug and a kiss everynight before bed. Lane is the sensitive one and shares his blanket and wants to make sure he is ok. Lily always wants to kiss him!! LOL!!

So Sally is here this week. I was nervous with Lily coming but it hasn't been bad at all. Sally has helped so much. she helps with everything, even makes sure I drink enough water. : ) she made meals and keeps the house as picked up a possible. Lily loves the wizard of oz so on monday we watched the wizard of oz and yesterday we drove to liberal to dorothys house. We were not sure how cade and lane would like it, but they enjoyed it. Lily LOVED it!!! It was a good trip until we got home and lane threw up in the car!! I'm glad we were just a block away!! He didn't have a fever but sally and i got everything cleaned up, including him. I lysoled the house. Lane never ran a fever. I still kept him home from school today just to make sure. He is fine. I don't know what the deal is with throwing up from time to time. I'm glad there is no fever!!

Today we went to the park. Calley called and said it was going to get really windy so we were trying to beat the wind. we didn't make it. talk about a windy day!!! we are in for the day!!!

I'm nervous!! this is the last week that i will have help at the house. i knew coming into this that it was going to be tough. i just haven't been able to get the hang of things yet. i know that i will eventually get there just again, not there. i don't know how to balance everything right now. i feel like we are too hard on cade and expect way too much out of him and not very much from lane. i know when jude doesn't eat as often it will get better. better feed jude!