1 week down

i got through the 1st week of breastfeeding!!!guess what? still going strong!!! don't get me wrong, i'm still sore but have found a way to get jude to go actually 2 hrs between which has helped. I feel confident but still scared that it all might take a bad turn! will things start hurting more? The books and other people say after 3 weeks then your good to go. i would like to thing we a good to go just need to get over the soreness. seems like the soreness isn't as bad. I still get the toe curling pain when he first latches on but after about 5 or 6 sucks it is gone. he also tucks in his bottom lip when he latches on and i can't seem to get it to pop out.

jude loves to be held, loves to be patted on his butt, loves the baby carrier that i wear, i think he kind of enjoys his face washed, loves eating, enjoys his pacifier, hates the qtip/alcohol on his bellybutton. i wasn't going to use the pacifier but it hasn't messed up on his latch at all. It helps him with his gas and just to calm him down. he just wants to suck and using the pacifier helps me not get as sore. I keep watching him on the latch and it really hasn't influenced that any so i figured he is just fine. Oh friday he gets his circumcision. : ( poor baby!!! i'm so angry that we have had to wait this long!!! makes me want to cry!! the one thing i have enjoyed most is when he grabs ahold of my finger. it is like i see a light shine through his eyes. i love the snuggle time - but seems to get less and less. And of course i love his little noises.

cade and lane have been doing very well. the other night cade said he wanted to talk to me (he was trying to do everything in his power not to have to go to bed) I said ok bud what is it. "mom, if you need me when i'm sleeping to help with jude wake me up, i will burp him or fart him." So sweet but how funny is "fart him"!!!! So far there isn't any jealousy towards jude. they love him so much. I know they get sad because i don't get to spend very much time with them right now. I'm trying harder. Like tonight i read lane a book while i fed jude. Lane held and turned the pages. He enjoyed it - i had to read it 3 times!!! I have to admit the longer it goes like this the more i miss the time I had with them. I know it won't be long when I'm in a corner crying because of the time I'm missing out on them. Chad has been really good with them and they have enjoyed time with him. it is bittersweet for me. i was there world, they were momma boys and now they are doing fine without me. I will get the hang of life again and juggling all my boys and things will be better. but for now we are going through a learning period. The boys, especially Cade, has been really good with helping me with the house. They do little things that help out so much!

i'm doing good. still healing in places but not in much pain. i have been getting groggy between feedings but other than that doing well with sleep. i did take a nap today. I try to sleep a little bit in the morning and then im fine until around 8. That is when i'm ready for bed.

chad starts work next week!!! eeeeeekkkkkk!!! The only thing i'm worried about is getting cade and lane ready for school, jude fed, and the boys dropped off at school. it is mainly the feeding. I never know what judes schedule is. again it is a learning process, it won't be long i will have the hang of it.

people coming... my dad might come this weekend, my mom and gary will come next week and my sister will come the week after. My brother and fiancee will come sometime i just don't know when yet.

i better go. it is almost time for mr. man to eat again. better get what i can done on here!!!